Things I Prefer Over the Pro Bowl

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For those who have followed my blog, you may know that I hate the Pro Bowl. It’s a great idea in theory, but there is so much risk involved for a pointless game that it really defeats the purpose. Just ask Bengals tight end Tyler Eifert, who hasn’t been the same since he injured his hip at the Pro Bowl a couple years ago. Plus, to try and protect players, they’ve neutered the rules so much that they’ve taken out some of the more exciting elements of football, such as blitzes and complex schemes (at least, they’re exciting to ME, that is). I’ve literally seen a Pro Bowl where the players went a couple of plays as if it were their walkthroughs. It’s bad. It’s not even in Hawaii this year, which takes away a lot of the incentive to actually attend the game for these players. So let’s take a look at a few things that are more enjoyable for me than this awful game.

1. WWE’s Royal Rumble

This one’s not really a joke, I genuinely love this event, and it’ll be on at the same time as the Pro Bowl so automatically you’ll get better TV, provided you’re willing to shell out the money for this Pay Per View. Nobody illegally streams anyway, that’s definitely not the better route to go.

2. My Own Birth

At least with this I’ll get to watch and see for myself if I came into the world exactly how my mom says I did: ass first.

3. 2 Girls 1 Cup

I don’t feel human emotions when I watch the Pro Bowl. I did feel the very real human emotion of disgust the one time I watched this.

4. Jar Jar Binks

I’ve seen the theories that he’s actually a Sith lord. It’s not as farfetched as you might think. In fact, it could’ve been that Jar Jar was going to be an inverse of Yoda, someone who appears to be “goofy” at first but it’s just an act. Unfortunately for the Star Wars prequels, it was executed SO poorly.

5. Any “Vine Star’s” Youtube Channel

Except maybe that Retro Spectro guy. Other than that, guys like Logan and Jake Paul deserve my eyes more than the Pro Bowl does, and that’s saying a lot considering the heat Logan’s (deservedly) going through.

6. People Arguing About Politics

Like I said at #3, I don’t feel human emotions when I watch the Pro Bowl. I feel anger when I watch people argue about politics. Nobody respects anyones opinion anymore, they just try to talk over each other and be the loudest in the room.

7. People Getting “Triggered” Over the Slightest Thing

It’s one thing if you had a genuinely traumatic experience. But if somebody makes a joke about being OCD and you get offended by it, go fuck yourself. It’s probably not nearly as offensive as the Pro Bowl.

8. This MLB Offseason

At least I’ll be able to get some things done while nothing happens in baseball.

9. Sportscenter the 6

God that show makes me cringe sometimes.

10. People Bitching about the new Star Wars Movies

They’re good movies. Unfortunately in this day and age, if there’s a single flaw with these movies, that makes them bad in the eyes of the “fans.”

11. People Bitching about the Game of Thrones Scenes that don’t Coincide with the Books

We get it, you read the books. I read them too. There’s some stuff in the books that sucks too, get your nose out of the sky.

12. Amy Schumer stand-up

This one might be a little harsh, I’m sorry Pro Bowl, that was a low blow.

13. The First Few Episodes of Friends

I love the Friends series. But my God the first few episodes are painfully unfunny. Once the story gets going, though, the humor really picks up.

14. The How I Met Your Mother Ending

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more betrayed by a series finale. Luckily, if you skip the last episode, you actually do have some solid closure since you basically know everything that happened by that point.

15. People Who Debate LeBron James vs Michael Jordan

This is mainly due to how over-saturated the argument has become. It’s really obnoxious and I’d rather wait until LeBron’s career is over before I really get involved with the debate.

16. ‘Let’s Play’ Videos

The only time I’ll watch a Let’s Play video is if I’m considering buying a video game and I want to see if I’d like it. Otherwise these things are almost as pointless as the Pro Bowl.

17. New Simpsons Episodes

It’s really a shell of its former self, but that’s beating a dead horse at this point. I read somewhere that they’re ending after 30 seasons, but I don’t remember where I heard that or if it’s even true.

18. Feminazis

I’m all for equal rights for women, believe me. But there are some who take the movement so far that they give a bad name to people who are actually trying to make positive change. I’ve got no issue with feminists. It’s feminazis where I take issue.

19. People Who Don’t Follow Baseball Saying it’s Boring

Baseball can be slow at times, I’ll admit. But if you’re going to bitch about it, you’re not doing anybody a favor. Baseball is a thinking man’s game.

20. People Who Go To Comments Sections to Bitch About How they don’t like a Video or Article or any other Content

Thankfully I have yet to experience such a thing, but I’ll read comments sections for other things and whenever I read someone who says “this sucks,” I think to myself “then why are you watching/reading?” Just don’t consume it, it’s really not that difficult.

21. Trigonometry

This shit almost kept me out of college. It’s pretty much only useful if I want to measure the size of a mountain, which I don’t. I’ll just take peoples’ word for it.

22. NCAA’s Pay-for-Play Issue

Just let the kids do endorsement deals for Christ’s sake. Still not as big a mess as the Pro Bowl, though.

23. Reality TV

Shows like “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” “Jersey Shore,” and “The Bachelor/ette” do almost as much damage to the human brain as the Pro Bowl.

24. Hiking

It’s just walking up a hill. I mean I’ll gladly do it if my friends invite me, but it’s pretty low on my to-do list.

25. Any other Sport’s All Star Game

Baseball, basketball, and probably hockey (I wouldn’t know, I’ve never caught an NHL All Star Game) at least have some form of entertainment to them. MLB’s is a traditional baseball game while the NBA’s doesn’t care about defense and players go out of their way to do highlight plays.

And finally, things I’d rather watch the Pro Bowl over.

1. Get Kidney Stones

This is probably my biggest fear. If you gave me the choice of watching hundreds of hours of Pro Bowl footage and never get a kidney stone, or get just one kidney stone and never watch the Pro Bowl, I would choose the former every time.

And that’s it. Let me know what you like better than the Pro Bowl in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter @jimwyman10. I’m starting to give up on my Patreon account because none of you are donating to it. Except my dad. Thanks, Dad!

What the Hell Do I Write About?

Hey everyone, sorry about there not being a blog post yesterday, but there is literally NOTHING happening right now in the world of sports. Hell, I’ve been so bored, I even started working out! Me! A blogger! Whoever heard of such a thing? I’m particularly fuming at Major League Baseball. Not at the league itself, but rather the inactivity from its clubs this offseason. How is it that we’ve already completed the first week of January and 7 members of my Top 10 Free Agents are still available? *Update* 6 out of 10 left. Jay Bruce just re-signed with the Mets. *End of Update* We almost had something interesting happen, as there were multiple tweets from very reputable sources that said that the Astros had struck a deal with the Pirates involving Gerrit Cole. However that proved to be fake news, leaving me in a pit of despair. Though it’s probably a good thing because could you imagine Cole being a part of the Astros? He’s an ace-level pitcher and he’d probably be the third man in that rotation after Dallas Keuchel and Justin Verlander.

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But yeah, I’m scraping for topics to talk about right now. I COULD talk about the whole Ball family stuff, but I’d rather not contribute to that mess. The only reason LaVar Ball is making all of these claims is because the media is lending him its ear. Like I seriously think he’s going to get Lonzo hurt, especially now that he’s verbally come after Lakers head coach Luke Walton. If the media just ignored him, then maybe he’ll stop being a jackass. But we all know that’s not going to happen. We’re in too deep at this point. But I like to keep up my morals and not give him the time of day if I can help it.

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I will admit I haven’t kept up on the world of basketball like I’ve hoped to, both college and professional. I admittedly don’t know as much about basketball as I do baseball and football and the lockout played a major role in that. I was on top of the world in following the NBA but once that happened I was really turned off and it stopped receiving my attention. Plus with college basketball, I’m finding it harder and harder each year to be invested due to the whole one-and-done thing. Basically every year I have to completely erase my brain on what I know and start fresh with each basketball season because there is so much turnover with the rosters. Plus my team, Indiana, is kind of garbage this season so that’s really hurt my interest level. They have shown some promise under new head coach Archie Miller, though. But it’s going to take some time before we’re ready to seriously compete for Big Ten championships again.

I thought about doing another personal blog for this one, but I really couldn’t think of any stories from my athletic career that would be particularly interesting. I’ve told all my favorites already and there really isn’t much left in my concussion-filled brain. If one pops up, I’ll definitely be sure to talk about it.

I’ve been getting into professional wrestling as of late. I used to watch WWE as a kid and play the video games, then took some time off because I was getting bored of it but now my interest has been reinvigorated. I’m debating whether or not I should do wrestling-themed blogs but I’m not 100% sure that would be best since it is staged and all. Which is fine by me, I look at it as watching an action/drama/comedy TV show, which is really what it is. It’s basically reality TV where people kick the crap out of each other. Let me put it this way: if you watch shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians or The Bachelor/ette, then you have no right to rip on WWE for being “fake.” Plus, try watching WWE with a buzz on. It’s freaking awesome. I actually took my brother and godson to the Clash of Champions Pay-Per-View in Boston last month and that was a Hell of a good time. Plus I was able to get an RKO from Randy Orton on film. So I guess I’ll leave it up to my readers as to whether or not I do WWE blogs. Definitely let me know if you’d like to read that. If I get no responses, I won’t do it, though.

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What else, what else. I mean I’ve also considered delving into the pop culture scene from time to time. For example, I’ve always wanted to talk Game of Thrones and Star Wars on this thing but I’ve held back because it’s a sports blog. When I’m not watching sports, I’m usually keeping up on those. I considered doing a Game of Thrones blog where I talk about the differences between the book and show and how well I think each change is done (or poorly), which would take FOREVER. I did get started on it where I would go storyline by storyline and talk about what’s different and what’s the same. I got through Ned Stark’s, Tyrion Lannister’s, and Jon Snow’s storylines before I kind of gave up on it. I was well over 10,000 words and I doubt anybody outside of my parents would want to take the time to read all of what I had to say.

I also really wanted to talk about what I thought of Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi just because of how polarizing it’s been amongst the fanbase. But again, I held back because this is a sports blog. I guess I’ll say this in short: I thought it was very good, but I understand why people have problems with it. I think most of the risks they took were good ones, though there were a couple elements I didn’t care for. For example, SPOILER ALERT, I would’ve liked to have known a little more about Snoke before he was killed off. Now granted, I read the defense that when the Emperor was killed in Episode 6, we didn’t know shit about him except that he ruled the galaxy and he was extremely powerful with the force and had manipulated our lightsaber-wielding villain. That’s basically all we knew about Snoke as well. However the difference between Snoke and Palpatine is that we know about the time period leading between episodes 6 and 7 and Snoke was a character that just kind of popped up within that time frame. Where was he before Episode 7? Why hadn’t we seen him? Was he Darth Plagueis, Palpatine’s master whom he had supposedly killed? We really don’t know. But I think you could do some cool stuff with him now that he’s dead. I think a dark side force ghost could be in the cards here. Perhaps Snoke comes back to torment Kylo Ren and then maybe we can learn a little more about him. Or maybe he projected himself like Luke did when Kylo Ren split him in half. I’m not going to get totally pissed about it until I see Episode 9. My only other major beef was Rose saving Finn. That whole storyline felt like it belonged on the Clone Wars TV series, not in the main films, but I did see how it tied into the main story. I do liked that they tried to do something different with this storyline. It didn’t work for me this time around but I hope they keep trying to show us different sides of the galaxy. I really hope the negative responses to this part of the movie don’t deter them from doing different things. But I hated that Rose saved Finn from going kamikaze on that cannon. I think it would’ve been the perfect way to tie up his character arc: an ex-stormtrooper who has a history of running away from his problems saves the Resistance by not running from a giant cannon that’s going to blast open some doors. But then Rose saved him and gave a dumb little speech about “not killing the ones we hate, but saving the ones we love.” Yeah, okay, that’s great, but the minute you said that, that cannon blasted open the doors shielding the Resistance and the Resistance would’ve been totally screwed had Luke Skywalker not projected himself to fight Kylo Ren (which I thought was freaking awesome). I guess my one other beef was Leia flying through space. That was dumb but it wasn’t dumb enough that it hindered my viewing experience. For me, it was kinda like “oh she’s flying through space like Mary Poppins? That’s dumb. Next scene.” I think Star Wars fans can be real brats about their movies and it’s a real shame because I thought Rian Johnson made a very good film but because it’s got the Star Wars name attached to it, it gets criticism that’s often unfair. But I guess if I had to rank the Star Wars Movies, I would rank them: 5-4-7-8-Rogue One-6-3-1-2. And I’m only ranking Phantom Menace above Attack of the Clones because Phantom Menace had one redeeming quality: the Darth Maul fight. That was awesome. Attack of the Clones had no redeeming qualities.

So that’s going to do it for my rambling blog. Let me know if you want me to occasionally write about things outside the world of sports, especially if we’re in a dead period because I’d like to be able to post every day if I can help it. Give me your thoughts in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter @jimwyman10 and contribute to my Patreon.